Lost in Thought

I'm not your typical girl.

I don't fall for anyone easily. I prevent that.

Why?

Easy. When I fall for someone I fall hard. My heart drops I pick up signs but question. I doubt myself and my intuition.

Facts:

I fall hard for guys that show interest in me
I fall for guys that have gorgeous brown eyes
I fall for athletes and brainiacs that share the same body
I fall for guys that can be themselves

I'm not shallow. I'm not pathetic. I just...want someone to realize I am here and I'm not easy. I want a guy to chase after me because I know I am worth it.

I'm not a girl that needs a guy to be happy.

I'm happy being single. I always have been.

...and because of that, I'm hard to get.

Don't feel hurt if I push you away.

Fight.

Fight for me.

I want a guy to walk up to me and say "I want you and I to be together. I will not leave until I have an answer."

I'm clear cut and simple.

I wonder if I have too high of expectations for guys like that...but who cares?! I'll have an amazing guy in the end.

I'm not perfect and I know it.

...but often I wonder if people view me as too good.

I know I'm smart.
I know I'm athletic.
I know I'm pretty, but not drop-dead gorgeous.
I know that I could intimidate guys.

Maybe that's why most avoid me.

I speak up and try to be nice. I know I'm not a rude person.

Maybe guys don't like that. Maybe they can't see the flaws I see in myself or they see so many that they try to avoid me.

I know that I can be bitch sometimes.
I know that I am shy.
I know that I'm skinny because everyone reminds me.
I know that I'm a tomboy.
I know that I'm a girly-girl sometimes.
I know that I free animals from traps before my parents notice.
I know that my grey-blue eyes freak people out.
I know that I'm pale and can't tan.
I know that I'm tall and tower over people.
I know that I can't walk in heels.
I know that I could beat you in a game and never give you a chance.
I know that my blonde hair is always straight and never put in a hairstyle.

I'm not shallow, weak or fishing for compliments.

For once, I'd like a person to walk up and compliment me on what I've done.

I don't want an award because I've got enough of them.

I want someone's approval.

I know it seems like I'm rambling and I am.

I know what I want.

I want you to realize for once that I want you and I want you to fight for me.

...but I guess you may be another pothole on the gravel road to the right guy.

Please... could you prove me wrong?

If only I was brave enough to show you this then maybe you'd say something back...

...Instead of leaving me with mixed feelings.

My thoughts have been lost to this and thank god as now I can hear sensibility.

I shouldn't show you this.

You know how to fight.

Fight for me.

Fight for me to get lost in my thoughts...

Again.